I woke up this morning before my family and I got ready to do my second shift in the hospital. Amid the chaos of the COVID-19 pandemic, my hospital system has called on primary care doctors as reinforcements. I normally spend most of my time in the outpatient setting other than delivering babies, so spending all day in the hospital caring for the very ill is not something I have done since residency (a long time ago). As I was preparing to leave the house today I had a strong sense I was going to war. This enemy, coronavirus, is relentless. It is not kind. It is not just. It is not merciful. It seeks to destroy for destruction's sake. I am not a soldier, so I really have no reference for what battle preparations look like, but for me in the early hours while my house was dark and my children were asleep this is what my preparations looked like: a large cup of strong coffee, my N95 mask, Holy Water from Lourdes (known for healing), blessed healing oil, and prayers for protection. I prayed for myself and my family, for the nurses and other staff at the hospital. I prayed for the patients and their families, from whom they would be separated at the ER doors and not reunited until (and if) they went home. I prayed for the world. And in that still, dark, quiet moment I found peace. I hope you do as well.
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